In a world of cant's, impossibilities, depression and becoming comfortable with failure and mediocrity, there is hope. Despair is the greatest tragedy since the beginning of mankind. It is the point when a person gives up, quits and ultimately believes he or she has no hope of success in one or many aspects of their life. The media sells it because it is lucrative. They celebrate the mistakes, misfortunes and despair of others. It is said that misery loves company and the masses support the media outlets by tuning in, reading and listening to their products. Sadly, they do it in the name of "exposing the truth". More tragic is the thirst of consumers for this celebration of other's sorrow. There will be critics of this for sure, but I pose the question, if they lauded the good equally or more than the bad, would we tune in still? Journalism in all of its forms, has always been sensationalized. However, now it seems that truth and fact are of little importance in the race to scoop a story. Truth or not, we still tune in.
Whether you believe it or not, you cannot continually expose yourself to the onslaught of negativity without absorbing, contributing and eventually passing it on to others. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he, or we are what we eat(consume) whichever you prefer. The message is the same. What ever we take into our bodies and minds, becomes part of us. I have a friend that is one of the best men I have ever known. His greatest downfall is the negative influences that he allows in his life daily. This friend of mine is an avid fan of a number of talk radio personalities known for their "conservative" beliefs. I have always considered my self to be conservative in my values and beliefs. Yet what I hear from these different sources is so full of hate and loathing of their opposition, that their message is superseded by the venom in its delivery. One of the other downsides of these programs is that opinion is sold as fact, merely because of their passion for it. Consequently, my friend who is a worrier by nature, has consumed this rhetoric to the point of loss of sleep and a change in attitude and actions. I have met and know others who fall on the other side of the fence and are no less radical in their thinking which has only fostered hate. Hate is a very dangerous emotion. It is not only something felt, but expressed in many dangerous ways. Contempt, pity, spite, revenge and finally despising are the road to despair. Hate and its more subtle sisters are among the most damaging of vices.
I have a relative who arrived to destination despair by a very different path. Her very demeanor is a reflection of her inner turmoils. Her self esteem has never been what I would consider healthy. She sees herself in a self deprecating light. Mistakes, trials, failures that we all experience are internalized by her as deserving and the sum of her life. She slips into self loathing, self pity and eventual despair. Now she is not hateful, so how can my friend and this family member arrive at the same place with two very different starting points?
These type of emotions and behaviors are as damaging to the mind as cancer is to the body. To delineate this, understanding how cancer works is needed. Cancer is essentially a group of cells that display uncontrolled growth or division beyond the normal limits, intrusion on and destruction of adjacent tissues. This can be caused by a number of factors such as carcinogens and errors in DNA replication. So cancer can attack good cells and destroy them, it causes DNA replicate in ways that essentially causes the body to tear itself apart.
Despair is cancer to the soul. It reconfigures your thinking, it leaves you feeling hopeless and filled with fear. The very core of despair is started with the tiniest bits of negativity that we give an audience to. It grows just like cancer until we look in the mirror and cannot recognize the person we have become. How do we prevent, manage and overcome any stages of despair? Believing is required. However, your beliefs must be centered in positive thinking, progression and truth. What can we believe in to undo or stop this internal destruction?
Believing in three things are the only way to true happiness. First, you must believe in God. The Atogonists, atheists and agnostics will cite varying scientific, legal precedence to try to prove otherwise, but life with out God is empty and has no meaning. Atheists are cowards that don't want to be held accountable for their lives and actions. Agnostics have no commitment to values and believe that belief in nothing has no consequence. Then there are the groups that deify the universe as if it has some bearing on the soul.
Belief in God is the greatest exercise of faith. It requires you to believe in the impossible, to accept that our potential is beyond our understanding. These very seeds of faith are the gateway to personal happiness. If you believe in God, then you believe in His commmandments. Has there ever been a more concise owner's manual than the scriptures. It is the most productive troubleshooting guide to the most complex machine of all, the human soul. If you believe in God, then His commandments and gospel(plan of happiness) come as a packaged deal. I find it interesting how people claim to believe in God, yet give little thought to His commandments. Just as a recipe for a cake is specific to the ingredients, mixing and baking for the desired outcome, so it is with knowing God. You cannot know Him if you don't do what He commands, asks and pleads with us to do to be happy. Atheists, agnostics are among the most miserable. They have no hope, no purpose in this life. Rather than accept that life requires rules, restraint and a code of conduct, they choose to live with none as though that removes the consequences. Life without God has no need for organization, restraint, contribution to society in positive ways or love. Look at what kind of life that is. Chaos and ultimately evil are the results of this. As in all things, there is an opposition to God's plan. It so closely resembles it, but fails to produce the essential elements of lasting happiness. Faith, hope and charity.
Second, you must believe in yourself. This means you need an eye of faith, or the ability to see your self succeeding, achieving and full of happiness. This may be one of the most important skills you will ever learn. To understand what it means to have an eye of faith, you must first understand the minds eye. Each of has a minds eye or the ability to visualize ourselves doing. If the mind does not believe that you can, you never will. For instance, in many sports the athletes are taught visualization of shooting a basketball, hitting a baseball, catching a football etc. The very best, never question whether they will accomplish the task. The minds eye gives people like Olympic Gold Medalist Shaun White the ability to do the tricks he does on a snowboard. When it comes time to perform, the body acts instinctively and is able to do all that the mind believes it can. So how do you get to this point, where believing becomes action. Think about the fears you have, your dislikes and what you believe is impossible for you to do physically, mentally and spiritually. List these things. Be honest with yourself, list your insecurities, your deepest fears. Knowing what these are gives you the ability to confront them and conquer them. Now list the talents, skills, aspirations and dreams that you have. Examine how you have accomplished some, but the others remain unfulfilled.
The minds eye is a built in probability calculator. In order to change something you desire from impossible to probable to achievable to accomplished, requires you to provide constant information to your minds eye to reaffirm and recalculate the outcome you desire. For example, Shaun White had to learn balance on a snowboard, how the edges work and the purpose of the wax on his snowboard before he took that first drop into a half pipe. Once he had those conquered then a whole new level of comfort was attained, thereby producing a new level of opportunities for expanding his skills. This process continues even today for him. He is the best in the world and is still learning more about what is possible. Because impossible means something totally different to him than to you and I.
Last you must trust. Trust is not earned, trust is given freely. There has been much debate on this subject. I believe that the feeling of trust being earned comes from betrayal. It rewires the thinking and makes you believe that people must prove themselves to you without any effort of your own. The inability to believe in the good of others will leave you pessimistic, unapproachable, critical, closed off emotionally and standing in a room full of people never feeling more alone. Trusting others is vital to our own growth as a person. This life was never meant to be a self serving, egocentric one. No one is born without someone to care for them. Even in instances of adoption, there is always someone waiting to extend their love to another. Happiness can only be found in the giving and receiving from others. This past Christmas I was examining why I love the Christmas season so much. I noticed a couple of things about myself and others. It is the one time of year that the love internalized is externalized. Its almost like you can't help it. The soul needs to connect with other's on a deeper level. We try to do things that go beyond superficial. We want to touch other's hearts and to be touched. In that moment we are the most open to change. We find ourselves doing self evaluations with a resolve to improve, to do better. We need others and they need us to be happy. That is why God created the family rather than just splitting cells and becoming offspring. Knowing that we are needed is one of the greatest tools to combat despair. This rewires your mind's eye and recalculates your self worth. Now doing this beyond the Christmas season requires greater effort. But the rewards individually and to others are exponential. Your actions create these same feelings in others and light that fire within them. It is a chain reaction, that if sustained can bring about the most significant changes in our lives.
Believing is such a simple thing. It can be done anywhere at anytime and by anyone. It brings about the greatest changes for good and evil in this life. The rewards follow the actions, always.
"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same" - Francesca Reigler
